6 Times Sai Wasn't Sure How He Felt, and the 1 Time He Was
by Playthegent
Summary: Short One-Shot exploring the relationship between Sai and Ino. WARNING: mentions of rape, not graphic!


**First date.**

Sai stood in front of his closet and contemplated what kind of attire would be appropriate for a date. His brow creased. He didn't really even know what a date was exactly. Ino had smiled at him when she asked if he'd go on a date with her and so he agreed. He liked her well enough and she seemed happy so it was easy for him to agree. But now he was...unsure.

Sai turned when he heard a knock on his door. He hoped it was Sakura, he'd called her half an hour ago. He opened the door and it was, in fact, the pink haired kunoichi. She smiled at him and entered his apartment before he invited her in.

Sometimes it confused him when his friends didn't abide by the courtesy rules he'd read about in books. Social interactions were sooo _complex_.

"So what do you need Sai?" Sai shut his front door and turned to face Sakura. "I'm going on a date, but I do not know what to wear or what a date is" Sakura raised both brows in surprise before breaking into a smile. "You're going on a date! That's so great Sai! With who?" Her voice was shrill and excited. Sai still didn't understand why.

"Ino"

Sakura's eyes widened further, Sai didn't know anyone could be as surprised as she was right now. "Really? Wow. O-ok. Ok" Sakura's face returned to normal and she grinned. "A date is kind of a...romantic outing for two people who like each other!" Sai nodded.

 _Romantic_. He'd read about that in one of his books. "Dinner is a romantic activity" Sakura nodded. "Yes! Take Ino to dinner and then for a walk. Make sure you hold her hand on the walk, and talk about whatever she wants to talk about" Sai nodded and thought for a moment.

Dates seemed easy. Everyone needed food, so dinner was good, and a walk was exercise, which was good for their bodies. Sai nodded. "Thank you Sakura" He offered his best smile imitation and the girl squealed again. "This is so cute!" Sakura hugged Sai before turning and going into his bedroom.

He still didn't understand, but he learned from Naruto that he shouldn't try to understand Sakura. He followed her into his room.

Sai watched from his bed as Sakura picked through his clothing, pulling out his uniforms and jackets and shirts. Finally she turned. "Wear this" she grinned and held out a pair of black capris, and a long sleeved blue and white stripped shirt. Sai eyed the outfit for a moment before finally nodding and getting to his feet. He stripped down to his boxers in front of Sakura, forcing the girl to turn around while he got dressed. Sai didn't hate the outfit but he did have to admit he preferred his uniforms.

"Ok" Sakura turned and nodded approvingly. Sai actually looked really good. She noticed for the first time a necklace on a black string hanging from said neck. "That's a nice touch" she pointed to the object and Sai shrugged. "Shin gave it to me" Sakura nodded. "It looks good. So what time are you picking her up?" Sai looked over at the clock on his bedside table. "In 20 minutes" Sakura nodded and patted his shoulder. "Good luck Sai!" He nodded and walked her out.

As soon as Sakura was gone Sai put on his shoes and grabbed his wallet and headed for the door. The walk to to Yamanaka flower shop was short and so he arrived early. He approached the front desk. "Is Ino here?" The man at the counter turned, a smile on his face.

"Inoichi-sempai" Sai bowed his head and Inoichi laughed. "Just Inoichi out here. How's it going Sai?" Sai shrugged. "I'm taking Ino on a date" Inoichi's brows raised in surprise. "You're the boy my daughter was talking about?" Sai shrugged. Inoichi laughed. "She'll be right down"

As if on cue Ino appeared at the bottom of the steps behind the counter. Her high ponytail was let down leaving her blonde locks billowing around her. Her purple uniform was replaced with a light pink knee length dress and a small white cardigan. Sai's mouth felt dry all of the sudden. He didn't know what this warmness in his chest meant. Ino blushed and made her way to Sai. She tucked her arm around his and said goodbye to her father over their shoulders.

"You look nice" Ino smiled at Sai's compliment. "You look nice too. I really like this color on you!"

Sai suddenly decided he would try to wear more blue, he didn't know why.

"Sakura said I should take you to Dinner" Ino nodded and Sai found himself staring at her bright eyes. He didn't know why he couldn't look away.

They made their way to one of the restaurants in the center of town and were quickly seated and had their orders taken. Ino sipped her drink and stared at Sai across the table, the dark haired boy squirmed under her gaze. Sai thought hard about what to say to start a conversation and decided to go with an easy one that Kakashi sensei had helped him with.

"How was your day?" Ino's eyes immediately brightened and Sai knew he'd made the right choice. The girl talked almost nonstop until their food came and even after. Sai enjoyed hearing her voice. Dinner ended faster than either of them expected and Sai cleared his throat. "Let's go for a walk" Ino agreed happily and they paid they bill and left the building.

The lights of town were bright and shining in the darkness of the evening. It was a pretty sight. Sai glanced over to Ino at his side and felt his fingers twitch. _Hold her hand_. Finally he moved a bit closer and gently placed his hand in hers. Her fingers were so delicate and soft.

Ino looked up at him and smiled again. His heart fluttered. He didn't understand any of these new feelings, but he was sure he wanted to feel them again. Especially if he could feel them with Ino.

 **First Kiss.**

Sai sat on the edge of the exam room table, wincing as Sakura healed the large cut across his ribs. He didn't know how something like this happened on such a routine check of the boarders. He sighed. It hurt, _a lot_.

"Don't fidget I'm almost done!" Sakuras voice was even as she spoke and Sai nodded and stilled. After a few more minutes Sakura sat back and wiped the sweat that had accumulated on her forehead with the back of her hand. "It's really deep, you'll need stitches but I've fixed most of the serious damage" Sai nodded and thanked her. Sakura smiled.

Before either of them could say anything more, Ino burst into the exam room. She stopped at seeing the huge gash on Sai's side and covered her mouth with her hands. "Are you alright?" She finally asked. Sai nodded and offered a small grin. Ino returned it and wrapped her arms around Sai's neck, breathing in the smell of his skin. Sai held her back, he felt happy that he had someone who cared about him like this.

Sai pulled back after a moment but Ino didn't release her hold on Sai's neck. Their faces were only a few inches apart and Sai could smell Ino's chocolaty breath. She had a real sweet tooth. The girls smile disappeared suddenly and she leaned forward, their lips just barely brushing.

Sai was taken aback. He wasn't familiar with this kind of contact and yet his chest ached from the space still left between them. Ino finally pushed forward, crushing their lips together in a gentle kiss. When she pulled back Sai was staring at her with wide eyes.

She grinned and kissed the tip of his nose. "You're so cute" Sai's stomach flipped and Ino ran her hands through his hair. He wished he had a name for the feeling in his chest.

 **First time having sex.**

"Let's do it" Ino's breath was hot against Sai's ear. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and her legs straddled the taller teens hips. They'd been lazily kissing on the couch for sometime now and Ino's sudden suggestion made Sai pull back. "Do what?" Ino couldn't help but smile at Sai's sweet naivety. "Have sex. We've been dating for 6 months, I think it's time!"

Sai's body tensed beneath Ino's touch as she said the words. He quickly pushed her off of him and got to his feet.

"I don't know"

He pulled his blue t-shirt back on and walked into the kitchen, facing away from Ino. His heart rate had sped up. Ino looked at Sai's back in confusion and hurt. "Sai...do you...do you not want me?" Sai shook his head. He could feel an uneasiness enter his stomach, a feeling he'd come to recognize as fear.

"It's...not that"

Ino had never heard Sai's voice so soft or quiet before. She was sure she even heard a slight catch in her boyfriends voice. She slowly got to her feet. "Sai, what's wrong?" Her voice was shaking and Sai looked down at the counter.

Memories of ROOT and Danzo floated across Sai's mind and his back tensed. It was only recently, now that Danzo was dead, that Sai had begun coming to terms with the things that had happened to him in that horrible compound. He wanted to tell Ino but he didn't have the words. "Ino I-" Sai's voice caught again and he looked down.

Wet droplets repelled down from his skin onto the counter. _He had never cried before_.

Ino could see the tears dripping from Sai's face and felt her own surface. "Oh Sai" she hugged his back and held him tightly. She could feel his abdomen tighten as he tried to force down the gentle sobs. "I'm afraid" Sai finally managed to get out the words and Ino held him tighter, unsure what to do.

Finally she pulled back and turned Sai to face her. His tears fell onto the top of Ino's head as she held him with her cheek pressed against his chest. "Why are you afraid?" Inos voice was whispered. Sai put his hands on Inos back, holding onto her. He didn't know how to say it gentle and so he didn't try to.

"I was raped in ROOT"

Rape was the word Kakashi had used for it when he'd told the jounin about it months and month before. Inos grip on Sai tightened.

"You don't have to be afraid of me" Sai felt his muscles loosen. He kissed the top of the blondes head and nodded. Ino looked up at him. "I won't hurt you. I promise" Sai nodded, the knot in his gut had unwound slightly but didn't completely go away. Ino led Sai into his bedroom and pulled him down beside her on the bed.

He kissed her, hard. Something like fire churned in Sai's chest. It was a feeling he didn't have a word for yet but hoped that someday he might. Ino laid Sai back on the bed and kissed his chest. This was going to be special for both of them.

 **Moving In.**

Sai stepped out of the shower and wrapped his towel around his waist. Ino was standing at the mirror brushing her teeth and watching him behind her. She grinned, cat like and full of mischief. Sai grinned too and joined her, picking up his toothbrush and toothpaste. Ino watched him even after she had finished up.

They both placed their brushes back into the cup on the sink and Ino sighed. "Isn't it weird having some stuff of yours here and some at my house?" Sai shrugged to Ino's question and left the bathroom to head into his bedroom to change.

Sai began dressing, Ino watched him from the doorway of the bathroom. "I don't mind it." She frowned at his answer and crossed her arms. "I think it's annoying" Sai nodded, working on pulling up his pants. "Ok" was all he said and Ino rolled her eyes.

" ** _Sai_** it's been over a year. We're almost 20 years old" Sai nodded and straightened out as he tied his headband in place. "That is true." Ino laughed a bit at her boyfriends ignorance. She caught his hand before it fell to his side and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

"Let's move in together" Sai raised a brow and nodded to himself. Half of Inos things were already in his apartment and she was here most of the week anyhow. It made sense to him. He nodded. "That does appear to be the logical thing to do"

Ino squealed and kissed Sais cheek. "This is going to be fantastic! I'll have Shikamaru and Choji help me move the rest of my stuff in while you're away!" Sai agreed and kissed her. He liked seeing her so...happy. He smiled a bit and they said their goodbyes.

Moving in seemed like a good enough idea. Ino would be with him all the time, day and night, every moment of the day...Sai's eyes widened.

His chest felt a bit tight and he paused on the stair case leading down from the apartment. He knew he felt nervous but the other feeling he wasn't sure about. He suddenly didn't know if this was the right decision. Sai made his way out of the apartment and began walking towards the gates.

What was he thinking when he said yes? It was too soon wasn't it? He had no idea what the customary amount of time to wait to move in together was.

"Sai!" Sai paused and turned to see Kakashi coming up behind him, both hands in his pockets and a casualness about him that contrasted with Sai's uncertainty.

"Ino is moving into my apartment!" The words flew out of Sais mouth and Kakashi chuckled at just how red the young mans face was. "Is that a bad thing?" Sai shook his head. "I don't think so, have you ever lived with someone?"

Kakashi nodded. "I live with Genma" Sai nodded. "Do you ever...get a minute alone?"

Kakashi laughed a bit and nodded. "Of course I do, Sai you'll be fine. This is a good thing" Sai nodded more to himself than Kakashi and looked down at his feet. "You're feeling anxiety" Sai glanced up at Kakashi and nodded.

 _Anxiety_. Now he had a word for it. Anxiety. He didn't know the details of what it meant but he was sure Kakashi was right. Most of the time he was. Moving in was a big step it seemed. But he would at least give it a try.

 **Proposal.**

Sai's knee jumped up and down as he sat waiting for Ino to arrive. He was sitting in the restaurant where they'd gone on their first date, wearing the same blue striped shirt. Sakura had told him it would be romantic.

His fingers absently ran over the lump in his pocket made by the ring box that lay inside. Shikamaru and Choji had helped him to pick it out. He was clueless when it came to jewelry.

He'd contemplated the idea of asking Ino to marry him for several weeks and finally decided that he would ask. He was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman.

"Calm down" Naruto rested his hand on Sai's shaking limb and offered a reassuring smile. "Everything's going to go fine" Sai nodded. He trusted Naruto. Hinata stood when she saw Ino and the boys joined her.

Sai's heart began to pound.

"Hi love, hey Hinata, Naruto" the pair bowed and smiled at Ino. The blonde kissed Sais cheek and they all took their seats. Ino and Hinata had started a conversation while waiting for their food. The darker haired girl kept glancing over at Sai, waiting for him to take over and ask like he'd planned.

Naruto squeezed Sais leg under the table. Sai nodded.

"Ino"

Ino paused in talking with Hinata and turned to Sai, smiling up at him. Her hands rested on his thigh and moved up and down slowly. Sai coughed. "I um..." He paused and took a deep breath. "I love you. A lot. And you've helped me learn so much in the past two and half years."

Sai swallowed hard.

"You're the reason I'm able to have friends and a life and...a love. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, learning and doing even more" Sai stood and got down on one knee beside Inos chair, just as Naruto had instructed. His throat felt dry.

"That's why I wanted to ask you to marry me, and make he even happier!"

By the end of the proposal big thick tears were falling down Ino's cheeks, painting her skin in a shiny glow. Sai felt his chest tighten. Tears were bad. But then Ino hugged him and shouted an enthusiastic 'yes' to which Naruto and even Hinata cheered.

Sai breathed in Ino's scent and held her tighter. His heart was pounding against his ribs. She said _yes_. Ino said yes to _him,_ to Sai of all people. They were getting married and Sai couldn't describe the feeling vibrating throughout his limbs.

Sai pulled back and placed the ring on Ino's finger. She squealed and showed it off to Hinata beside her. Naruto patted Sai's back and the darker haired man could only sit watching Ino in amazement.

He felt something suddenly wash over him and his body felt as if a jolt of electricity had been sent through it. This was perfect.

 **Wedding.**

Sai stood at the end of the aisle, Naruto Shikamaru Choji and Kakashi standing to his left. He watched as one by one the brides maids made their way up the aisle to join them.

Sakura's pink hair was pulled up, purple flowers weaved around the strands. Her dress was long and flowy and a deep pink that complimented her hair. Hinata came up behind her, her eyes bright and loving as she looked at Naruto beside him. TenTen and Kurenai were the last two and they both radiated their own beauty as they walked slowly towards their spots by the alter.

Sai's breathing sped up when Ino's soft music began to play.

The blonde appeared at the end of the aisle, her arm intertwined with her mothers and picture of Inoichi clutched against her chest. Tears appeared on the edge of her eyes but didn't fall. Sai smiled, bright and genuine and happy as he watched his soon to be wife approach him.

He'd discovered so many new feelings over the last few years but none could describe how he felt in _this_ moment.

He was joining his life with the woman he loved. There were no words for something like this. Sai felt his own tears surface but he held onto them, saving them.

Ino reached out a hand to Sai when she was close enough and he helped her up the small step to be standing beside him. He touched the photo of Inoichi and took it from Ino's hands. He leaned his forehead against the frame and closed his eyes.

He wished more than anything that Inoichi could be here to see this.

Sai turned and handed the photo to Ino's mother. The woman kissed his cheek and took her seat at the front beside Choza. Sai took Ino's hands and looked down at her.

This feeling inside of him was different from all the other times he'd looked down at her. There was something more to it. Something more than just their love. This was the best day of his life.

 **Pregnancy.**

Sai stood in the kitchen, his hands busy with preparing dinner for Shikamaru, Temari, Choji and Karui. He liked cooking, he liked the smells and tastes and gentle quiet that cooking provided. He also liked seeing the satisfaction on people's face when they ate his food. He smiled to himself.

Sai heard the front door open and he glanced up just in time to see Ino walk past the entrance to the kitchen and down the hall. "Hi!" He called after her but didn't get a response. He shrugged, maybe she didn't hear him.

"Sai"

Sai turned and found Ino suddenly standing behind him, her face flushed and blue eyes wide. One of her hands was behind her back and the other was gripping Sai's bicep. "What's wrong?" Ino shook her head and bit her bottom lip. Sai felt uneasy. He looked down at his wife and rested a hand on her shoulder.

The woman revealed the object she had previously hidden and held it up to Sai. He looked down at the plastic stick and squinted to get a better look.

"I'm pregnant"

Ino said the words just as Sai's eyes finally adjusted to settle on the two lines that were bright and clear on the pregnancy test. His eyes widened. A _baby_. Sai exhaled deeply and shook his head in slight disbelief.

"Pregnant?"

Ino nodded and continued biting her lip just staring at Sai. She hoped he would be ok with this, they hadn't planned it. They had barely even talked about having kids aside from knowing they both wanted some.

Sai suddenly smiled, full and happy. Ino let out a breath.

"We're having a baby!" Sai's voice conveyed his excitement and he hugged his wife tightly. This was more than he could have ever hoped for. He was getting a family, something he'd never really had before. He had Shin of course but his brother had left him a long time ago and ever since then he'd been alone.

But now...Ino was giving him something that he'd only dreamed about.

"I'm so happy" Sai's voice cracked and he buried his head in Ino's shoulder. She could feel his body shake with quiet sobs. She smiled. Sai pulled back finally and kissed his wife, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder to get a better look at her face. He couldn't wait to have a family with her.

"Thank you" His voice was shaking.

In that moment he had all of the words he'd ever struggled to understand for what he was feeling. Excitement, love, anticipation, anxiety. And now content. This was his life. His nice house and gorgeous wife and their beautiful child.

This is where he had always hoped to someday be, even if he never realized it.

Ino kissed the tip of Sai's nose and latched her hands behind his neck. "Let's finish cooking, we've got big news to share tonight" Sai agreed and kissed the top of Ino's head. He'd finally found exactly where he belonged.


End file.
